All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
