Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
