You don't have asthma, your pregnant
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
