Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
