The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
