I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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