Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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