pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
