Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
