She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
