It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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