I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
