I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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