It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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