The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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