Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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