Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We left an ass print on the piano.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
