She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
