I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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