I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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