By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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