Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me

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(212): View more from New York

yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?

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(954): View more from Florida

youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party

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(248): View more from Michigan

Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(505): View more from New Mexico

We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.

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(707): View more from California

Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.

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(831): View more from California

my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.

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