So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
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you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
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I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely