I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
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I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY