Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
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You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
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Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?