my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES