Texts From Last Night

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  (514): View more from Quebec

  you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night

  (514): View more from Quebec

  i got kicked out last time for laughing

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  (514): you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night (514): i got kicked out last time for laughing http://tfl.nu/qj8w
  Replies (37) Good night (3809) Bad night (732)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.

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  (862): Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/hfa7
  Replies (40) Good night (2268) Bad night (3216)
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  (707): View more from California

  I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever

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  (707): I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever http://tfl.nu/38jn
  Replies (51) Good night (6628) Bad night (816)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.

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  (613): I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/nxz1
  Replies (35) Good night (12149) Bad night (1350)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out

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  (573): i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out http://tfl.nu/mqff
  Replies (16) Good night (1986) Bad night (5974)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.

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  (+44): I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk. http://tfl.nu/9idz
  Replies (22) Good night (3099) Bad night (1194)
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  (619): View more from California

  If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho

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  (619): If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho http://tfl.nu/n12x
  Replies (12) Good night (3477) Bad night (944)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Alls I remember is making out with that chick.

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Nope that was a dude

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  (651): Alls I remember is making out with that chick. (612): Nope that was a dude http://tfl.nu/9vd8
  Replies (16) Good night (1298) Bad night (2532)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.

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  (310): I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't. http://tfl.nu/uo1x
  Replies (3) Good night (1202) Bad night (577)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.

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  (715): On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good. http://tfl.nu/74vq
  Replies (11) Good night (1416) Bad night (539)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.

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  (812): the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica. http://tfl.nu/fg5p
  Replies (4) Good night (994) Bad night (521)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.

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  (336): No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine. http://tfl.nu/r6ac
  Replies (1) Good night (372) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.

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  (570): I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now. http://tfl.nu/p9px
  Replies (1) Good night (359) Bad night (607)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.

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  (201): HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down. http://tfl.nu/e84o
  Replies (3) Good night (460) Bad night (206)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault

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  (217): My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault http://tfl.nu/cmy2
  Replies (3) Good night (439) Bad night (186)

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