i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
