he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
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Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
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You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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