I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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