Don't you send me to vm
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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