I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
