My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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