mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
