I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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