Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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