I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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