also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
