Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
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It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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