Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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