We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
