that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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