Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
