hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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