Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going