Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
