I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
