You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
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