where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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