I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
