There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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