imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
