shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
