oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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