Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
