I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
