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• (818): View more from California

  Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.

  (818): View more from California

  Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.

  (818): View more from California

  And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (515): View more from Iowa

  What did I eat last night that was bloody?

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''

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• (631): View more from New York

  Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.

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• (310): View more from California

  I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car

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