Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
