I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
