Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.

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(510): View more from California

Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.

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(802): View more from Vermont

there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.

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19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Read it at the TFLN blog
(228): View more from Mississippi

I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.

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(850): View more from Florida

She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next

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(347): View more from New York

in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!

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(425): View more from Washington

Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.

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