there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
