So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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