Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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