I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
