The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
