My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i would one night stand the shit outta him
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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