awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
