I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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