either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
