I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I could fuck to npr.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
