You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
